RIP

Inesechay Amspay

I am sick of getting Inesechay Amspay. From henceforth it shall be immediately and permanently deleted. I realize it probably comes from bots, but all the same....

Ditto for tiny urls or questionable links from people I don't recognize.

For the Benefit of our Congressmen

I submit the following for their edification. Our congressmen should note that there is a particularly fascinating little clause in the second paragraph:

That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed...

I realize that this is pretty heady stuff, but I am reasonably confident that if Congress will avail themselves of a dictionary, they can ascertain what the Founding Fathers meant by that clause.

Well, okay, maybe Madam Pelosi and M. Reid need a translation, so here it is:

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO RAM LEGISLATION DOWN OUR THROATS WHEN THE MAJORITY OF AMERICANS ARE AGAINST IT.

Clear enough?

NB:
The little ditty about "imposing Taxes on us without our Consent" is enlightening as well.

I have dreams of Democrats taking the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution seriously.

I know, I know - I must be deluded. However, hope springs eternal....

Anyways, for the benefit of our Congressmen (and the ones with a (D) after their name, in particular), I present to you for your edification and enlightenment: the Declaration of Independence.

(How they ever managed to get through school without learning this stuff, I'll never know.)



IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Earthquake!

Yes, that's right - we here in terra-not-so-firma Illinois had an earthquake last night, 3 something in the morning. It was strong enough to wake us up out of a sound sleep, and it also knocked a small picture frame off of its perch on top of the stereo. The picture frame didn't merely drop from its customary spot, but it was actually knocked two or three feet away.

The Big House for the Big Mouth

Al Gore is such a scam artist, he should share a cell with Bernie Madoff, especially if "crap and trade" goes through.

More Cheap Entertainment

From this site:

Introduction

A salad dressing competes with a chess board for a cashier. Most people believe that the fundraiser related to the parking lot greedily tries to seduce a food stamp, but they need to remember how almost the buzzard inside a scooby snack trembles. Furthermore, a defendant over some polygon goes to sleep, and an industrial complex competes with the girl scout. An ocean inside a globule, a food stamp living with the garbage can, and a reactor behind the class action suit are what made America great!

The steam engine of a chess board

When a purple carpet tack is frozen, a secretly impromptu polar bear figures out the plaintiff. Sometimes another cashier for the squid beams with joy, but a fundraiser toward an insurance agent always feverishly seeks the short order cook of some food stamp! A ball bearing negotiates a prenuptial agreement with a South American power drill. Furthermore, some crispy rattlesnake prays, and a hole puncher learns a hard lesson from a blithe spirit.

The pork chop inside a pig pen

A fraction about the minivan gives secret financial aid to a completely pompous polar bear. Any pit viper can can be kind to the South American line dancer, but it takes a real photon to conquer an imaginative judge. Now and then, a diskette around the submarine knows a fairy over a steam engine. Indeed, a traffic light near a senator seeks an insurance agent.

An obsequious salad dressing

An earring living with the freight train inexorably assimilates a frustrating fire hydrant. Now and then, the cough syrup shares a shower with a pickup truck for a dolphin. The microscope flies into a rage, and a plaintiff defined by the blithe spirit sweeps the floor; however, a pork chop pees on a recliner near a cocker spaniel. A gentle wheelbarrow hides, but a class action suit defined by a bullfrog ostensibly buys an expensive gift for a pine cone toward a warranty. Most people believe that a cab driver lazily learns a hard lesson from a most difficult tripod, but they need to remember how barely a hydrogen atom leaves.

Conclusions

Any movie theater can give a pink slip to the hole puncher from a movie theater, but it takes a real fruit cake to accidentally conquer a cheese wheel around a razor blade. Sometimes the corporation returns home, but a buzzard about a parking lot always goes deep sea fishing with some proverbial movie theater! Sometimes a chestnut trembles, but a prime minister always non-chalantly dances with the vacuum cleaner! A false anomaly derives perverse satisfaction from a geosynchronous senator. Sometimes a feline corporation rejoices, but another temporal paycheck always takes a peek at an avocado pit defined by the razor blade!

Favorite phrases:

• completely pompous polar bear
• obsequious salad dressing
• the microscope flies into a rage
• frustrating fire hydrant
• crispy rattlesnake

Cheap Entertainment

It's too cold for watching grass grow or paint dry, so this is what passes for amusement at our household these days - waiting for paper to come out of the printer.

A Visit from Saint Nicholas

by Clement Clarke Moore





’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ’kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap;

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and Saint Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Saint Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

Happy Birthday, Hannah!

(A bit late, but better than never):

Then:





and now:






Happy Birthday!!

Pithy Truth

Spotted yesterday on a bumper sticker:

So far, the change s***s.

(Asterisks not in original, and the "o" in "So" was an Obama "o.")

Yup, just what you'd expect from a two-bit Chicago pol - all the hype and change is nothing more than same-old-same-old.

That's the thing about buyer's remorse - it never comes on time.

NaNo 2009: Lessons Learned

Well, NaNo has come and gone. I didn't make it to 50K, but it was a worthwhile attempt for me even at ca. 17K. I managed to write a hefty (for me) chunk anyhow, one that gives me a good start on a potential novel, and I plan to keep on plugging away at it. If nothing else, it will give me the opportunity to improve my writing as I slog my way through the story.

Things I've realized as a result of this intensive (!) attempt at writing:

• Discipline: The key to reaching the goal is discipline. You can have the best plan on the books, but unless you have the discipline to carry it out, fuggedaboudit. In this particular case, that translates to writing daily and achieving your word count goal for that day.


• Don't worry about perfection: As I read on another author's website, the writer's "enemy" is not the badly written page, but rather the blank page. If you have something scribbled down on the page, at least that gives you something to work with. On the other hand, a clean, white sheet stares back at you, mocking you and defying you to sully it with letters and words. Before you know it, your mind is as blank as that page, and creativity is out the window. Just start writing. Get the big picture, and flesh out the details later.

So, these are the two lessons I need most to practice; hopefully by the time next November rolls around, they will have become second nature to me.

NaNo Update: Broke 10,000!

So, I am still behind - November is half over, which means that by rights I should be somewhere around 25,000 words. At least I'm not as behind as was earlier with my slow start. I need to close out this day with at least 12,500 words and then average 2500 words a day to meet the goal of 50,000 by the end of the month. Definitely doable, but I have to be diligent about writing each day, as this schedule leaves me no margin for error.

On the positive side: I'm definitely learning about forging ahead and writing stuff down without regard to how euphonious it sounds or how logical the plot elements are (or aren't, as the case may be). That stuff can always be fixed later; that's what rough drafts are for.

Here's to diligence and discipline in writing daily!

Really Scary Pumpkins

Our pumpkins are ready to be retired. We actually carved them a couple of days after Halloween, so they're fresher than they might be otherwise. We lit the candles today, the first time in a few days. The pumpkins are really scary now - moldy on the inside, and producing some pumpkin juice wherever they sit.

Here are two glowing pumpkins:




The larger pumpkin:





Three glowing pumpkins:






This is Hannah's pumpkin:





You can see the mold growing on the inside of my pumpkin:





Hannah and Jacob looking into their pumpkins:







It's a good thing tomorrow is garbage day ;)

NaNo Update: Finally Finished Chapter 1

It's about time, too. I'm only about a week behind schedule - ha! Behind enough, but not impossibly so, if I can just manage to be more consistent in writing every day. It's now the 9th, which gives me 21 more days to reach the goal of 50,000 words. Since I'm now at a word count of 2502 (unofficial), that means that averaging a little over 2200 words a day will get me there (and getting 3000 words a day will push me quite comfortably over the finish line). Not at all impossible, so no need to concede defeat yet.

I must confess that I am amazed at the people who can crank out several thousand words a day. Some have already surpassed the 50K goal. As for me, I do happen to have a life outside of this NaNo lark, so I'm going to focus on consistency (think: "tortoise" rather than "hare") and enjoy myself.

Self-Righteous Hypocrisy

You know, I really don't believe it when people say, "Oh, I'd gladly pay extra (in taxes) if it meant no one would have to go without health coverage."

Baloney. What's stopping you NOW from walking across the street to your neighbor who doesn't have insurance and giving him $100 (or more, since you're feeling so generous) every month so he doesn't have to worry about medical bills?

Do you do that, NOW, without Uncle Sam's prodding?

Oh, you don't?? Why not? If you're so glad about paying extra for your neighbor, what are you waiting for? Nothing says that you can't do it on your own, without the government getting involved.

You see, my friends, the "I'd gladly pay extra in taxes if it meant that XXXX" line is nothing more than a hypocritical, self-righteous throwaway lie that some people like to spout because it makes them sound like they're taking the high road.

They're lying, because they can't be bothered to do it NOW, without government coercion.

And I'm calling them on it.

Cure for Writer's Block?

I just discovered this page, and decided to give it a try. I set a goal of 200 words in 10 minutes; I managed 208 words in 6 minutes. Here is the fruit of my inaugural effort. (Ignore the misspellings and lower case - the idea behind the software is that it makes you focus on output. The spelling, etc. can always be cleaned up later.) It's a silly little story, but who cares? Enjoy!

once upon a time there was a little girl who never liked to eat broccoli. she hated it so much that she would scream every time her mother brought some home from the store. one day, her mother brought home some brocolli that was colored red instead of green. the little girl was so surprised that she accidently ate the red broccoli. to her surprise, the brocolli actually tasted pretty good. after that, she decided that she would make her own red broccoli. she did this by slathering ketchup all over the green broccoli that her mother cooked. the strange thing was that it tasted exactly like the red broccoli that her mother had brought home from the store. she didn't know it, but her mother had only pretended to have bought red brocolli from the store. what her mother actually did was take regular, run-of-the-mill brocolli and boil it in ketchup. that way, the broccoli turned red as it cooked and the flavor was changed so that it tasted more like ketchup than it did brocolli. From that day forward, the girl never hesitated to eat brocolli as long as it was boiled in ketchup.

the end.

NaNo Update: Behind Schedule :(

Well, my original plan was to average 2000 words a day - then I could be finished w/50,000 in 25 days, giving me a few slack days. Right now, however, I am up to the grand whopping total of 878 words. Less than impressive, I know, but the good news is that if I finish off today at 3000 words and do 3000 words every day for the next five days, I'll be back on track by the 9th. Not impossible, I think - if I write 100 words in 5 minutes (which I am assuming is a fairly reasonable timeframe, given that we are talking about organizing one's thoughts and then recording them, as opposed to merely copying the words of someone else), then that would translate to 2 1/2 hours per day.

One of my biggest mistakes has been waiting for the muse to strike, and looking for sizable chunks of time to sit down and write. Waiting for either one of those conditions to be fulfilled (not to mention waiting for both to happen simultaneously) will virtually guarantee that nothing (or precious little) will get written. So I am coming to the realization that any progress to speak of will have to be accomplished in dribs and drabs. That 2 1/2 hour chunk of time just ain't gonna happen - not for writing, at any rate.

So, here's to making use of what would otherwise be "down time" !

Best. Snack. Ever

Found some Nutella at Wal-Mart today, but what I really miss is Nugatti.

My favorite snack:

+

+

{sigh} I miss it so much...

Thirty Days and Nights of Literary Abandon!

That's the motto of NaNoWriMo, an annual (international!) event for would-be writers to try their hand at writing that book that they've always thought about writing but never got around to it. NaNoWriMo stands for "National Novel Writing Month," and participants are encouraged to write a 50,000 (or more) word novel within the month of November. Anyone who meets or exceeds that word count goal is a "winner." (There is a junior version for kids under the age of 13.)

This year I'll be giving it a shot for the first time, so we'll see how it goes. If I "win," that's great, but my chief aim is to learn to shut off the "internal editor" and focus more on creativity and the flow of output. Anyone interested in my NaNo novel and its progress can follow along here. Hopefully by December 1, I'll have a diamond in the rough that (when edited) will be the hottest thing since Harry Potter ;)

Feel free to drop a line of encouragement now and then during the month of November!

Stupid People

The other day I had the privilege of driving behind an inattentive driver. This gal was more interested in daubing gook all over her face than in operating her 2000+ pound machinery.

Ditzy chick.

Maybe you don't care a whole lot if you cause a crash because you couldn't be bothered to get up five minutes earlier so you could slather makeup all over your mug, but I sure care, especially if I'm driving behind you.

People like that honestly shouldn't be allowed to drive.