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GB Pics - Katzen



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GB Pics - Katzen




GB Pics - Katzen




GB Pics - Katzen




GB Pics - Katzen

More Cheap Entertainment

From this site:

Introduction

A salad dressing competes with a chess board for a cashier. Most people believe that the fundraiser related to the parking lot greedily tries to seduce a food stamp, but they need to remember how almost the buzzard inside a scooby snack trembles. Furthermore, a defendant over some polygon goes to sleep, and an industrial complex competes with the girl scout. An ocean inside a globule, a food stamp living with the garbage can, and a reactor behind the class action suit are what made America great!

The steam engine of a chess board

When a purple carpet tack is frozen, a secretly impromptu polar bear figures out the plaintiff. Sometimes another cashier for the squid beams with joy, but a fundraiser toward an insurance agent always feverishly seeks the short order cook of some food stamp! A ball bearing negotiates a prenuptial agreement with a South American power drill. Furthermore, some crispy rattlesnake prays, and a hole puncher learns a hard lesson from a blithe spirit.

The pork chop inside a pig pen

A fraction about the minivan gives secret financial aid to a completely pompous polar bear. Any pit viper can can be kind to the South American line dancer, but it takes a real photon to conquer an imaginative judge. Now and then, a diskette around the submarine knows a fairy over a steam engine. Indeed, a traffic light near a senator seeks an insurance agent.

An obsequious salad dressing

An earring living with the freight train inexorably assimilates a frustrating fire hydrant. Now and then, the cough syrup shares a shower with a pickup truck for a dolphin. The microscope flies into a rage, and a plaintiff defined by the blithe spirit sweeps the floor; however, a pork chop pees on a recliner near a cocker spaniel. A gentle wheelbarrow hides, but a class action suit defined by a bullfrog ostensibly buys an expensive gift for a pine cone toward a warranty. Most people believe that a cab driver lazily learns a hard lesson from a most difficult tripod, but they need to remember how barely a hydrogen atom leaves.

Conclusions

Any movie theater can give a pink slip to the hole puncher from a movie theater, but it takes a real fruit cake to accidentally conquer a cheese wheel around a razor blade. Sometimes the corporation returns home, but a buzzard about a parking lot always goes deep sea fishing with some proverbial movie theater! Sometimes a chestnut trembles, but a prime minister always non-chalantly dances with the vacuum cleaner! A false anomaly derives perverse satisfaction from a geosynchronous senator. Sometimes a feline corporation rejoices, but another temporal paycheck always takes a peek at an avocado pit defined by the razor blade!

Favorite phrases:

• completely pompous polar bear
• obsequious salad dressing
• the microscope flies into a rage
• frustrating fire hydrant
• crispy rattlesnake

Cheap Entertainment

It's too cold for watching grass grow or paint dry, so this is what passes for amusement at our household these days - waiting for paper to come out of the printer.

A Visit from Saint Nicholas

by Clement Clarke Moore





’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ’kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap;

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and Saint Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Saint Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

Best. Snack. Ever

Found some Nutella at Wal-Mart today, but what I really miss is Nugatti.

My favorite snack:

+

+

{sigh} I miss it so much...

Now This Looks Intriguing

I'd love to try this out, if I had the time and/or money.

In a similar vein, you can get a view from the deck of the Norwegian training vessel, Christian Radich. Be sure to check out the full-screen version.

On a Clear Day...

...you can see forever - or "up to 18 miles" with these opera glasses. Seems like a stretch to me, but I suppose if you're stuck watching a football game live and in person, these things might be better than nothing.

Oh well, what do you expect for 75 cents?

All Sorts of Cool Stuff

I was always intrigued by the x-ray specs, partly because I couldn't imagine how they could actually work. Otherwise, the trick black soap and jack pot bank would have appealed most to me as a kid.

The only thing this page is sorely lacking is some disappearing ink.

If You're Tired of Being Pushed Around

Just follow Mac's lead. Forget Bowflex - all Mac needed was a free book from Charles Atlas.

Surely this ad is one of the better known ones in the self-improvement category. At least Charles Atlas looks realistic, instead of the grotesque specimens seen in some of the bodybuilding literature.

I can't say much about the validity of bodybuilding to make oneself a chick magnet, though. Wimpiness is more an attitude than a lack of physique. (If the shoe fits, take heart and strengthen your backbone before your biceps.)

Major Matt Mason

No doubt this toy was launched during the Apollo space missions. I never owned it, so I can't vouch for the authenticity of the jet propulsion pak: "Actually makes him fly through the air. Just like the real thing!"

The moon suit looks less like something Neil Armstrong would wear, and more like the robot from "Lost in Space." I wonder if there's a pouch of "Tang" hidden in one of the pockets ;)

Speaking of the Revolutionary War...

...I just finished re-reading Johnny Tremain. I recall having read it when I was in the third grade (or thereabouts), but honestly the only part of the story that I actually remembered was the accident that resulted in his having to abandon his dreams of becoming a silversmith.

Favorite quote (p 283):

Robert Newman, suspected of having hung the lanterns in Christ's Church the night before, was thrown into jail, and John Pulling, merely suspected of having helped, was forced to hide in his grandmother's wine butt.

Now it turns out that in context, "butt" is nothing more than a large cask, or, alternatively, a unit of volume equal to two hogsheads (ha! more weird words: a hogshead is about 63 gallons).

But to contemporary ears, "wine butt" conjures up a whole different image ;)

204 pc. Revolutionary War Soldiers set

"Every piece of pure molded plastic...hours of fun for the whole family!"

All that for $1.98.

Nowadays, how many kids would be able even to name a couple of famous battles of the American Revolution, let alone re-live them with little plastic soldiers?

Come to think of it, plastic soldiers are probably not made any more. Instead, kids will have to order sets of diplomats and conflict resolution managers. After all, fighting is so barbaric - not to mention it's an embarrassing vestige of patriarchal society. Governments are nannies to take care of you and wipe your leaky orifices, not anything that should actually provide for the common defense.

Just Like the Real Thing

From the back page of a Tarzan comic book. They forgot about the possibility that some little Annie Oakley might be interested in ridin' shotgun, too.

Haunted House Mystery Bank

Note that this too is "sturdily constructed," like the Polaris Nuclear Sub.

My fave: "...or (if you're independently wealthy) a quarter..."

HA. But then again, Bazooka Bubble Gum was only a penny a piece, too, so...

Make Money, Get Prizes!

I though the telescope, the archery set, and the walkie-talkie would be fun to have. This seed ad doesn't tell you how many you need to sell, though.

Polaris Nuclear Sub

Great minds think alike - so I've been told. I dragged out a box of old comics the other day and got the idea of putting up some of the ads here. Now I see that Lileks has already started that meme. (I will concede, however, that it appears that the majority of his stuff antedates my material by a couple of decades, at least. So perhaps there is not too much harm done ;) Well, at least I've beat him to the punch with this:




Firing the rockets sounded kind of cool. "Sturdily constructed of 200 lb. test fibreboard" was all too easy to overlook, though, as I imagined this was just the thing I needed to go cruising up and down the mighty Fox.

Well, He Didn't Fit in the Dishwasher...

Face it, sometimes the kitchen sink is the handiest thing!

One More, for Math Geeks

The singer needs voice lessons, but geeks can overlook that shortcoming:

An Engineer's Guide to Cats

Found this on my internet wanderings:

The Duel

Eugene Field. 1850–1895

The Duel

THE GINGHAM dog and the calico cat
Side by side on the table sat;
'T was half-past twelve, and (what do you think!)
Nor one nor t' other had slept a wink!
The old Dutch clock and the Chinese plate
Appeared to know as sure as fate
There was going to be a terrible spat.
(I wasn't there; I simply state
What was told to me by the Chinese plate!)

The gingham dog went "bow-wow-wow!"
And the calico cat replied "mee-ow!"
The air was littered, an hour or so,
With bits of gingham and calico,
While the old Dutch clock in the chimney-place
Up with its hands before its face,
For it always dreaded a family row!
(Never mind: I 'm only telling you
What the old Dutch clock declares is true!)

The Chinese plate looked very blue,
And wailed, "Oh, dear! what shall we do!"
But the gingham dog and the calico cat
Wallowed this way and tumbled that,
Employing every tooth and claw
In the awfullest way you ever saw—
And, oh! how the gingham and calico flew!
(Don't fancy I exaggerate—
I got my news from the Chinese plate!)

Next morning where the two had sat
They found no trace of dog or cat;
And some folks think unto this day
That burglars stole that pair away!
But the truth about the cat and pup
Is this: they ate each other up!
Now what do you really think of that!
(The old Dutch clock it told me so,
And that is how I came to know.)

You can watch the fur fly here.